Promise Mascot Agency Review: Why I Refuse to Be a Hands-Off CEO

You probably saw this coming.

When you dive into Promise Mascot Agency, a game centered around a quirky finger mascot with a penchant for violence and a janitor untangling Yakuza mysteries in a bizarre, dilapidated town – complete with a duck voiced by none other than ex-PlayStation head Shuhei Yoshida – it’s the oddities that really stand out.

I had an inkling this would be the case after playing the initial demo from Kaizen Game Works. Now, having journeyed through the entire experience — even driving a tiny kei truck that eventually sprouted wings — I can confirm that it’s the eccentric charm that hooks you. If this offbeat indie mascot management game steals your heart, it’ll be because of its eccentricities, like an out-of-control vending machine hurling junk because a sentient moss ball forgot that appliances dislike aggression.

At times, PMA pretends to be ordinary. Its narrative setup, which spots a seemingly standard storyline (minus a cigar-chewing finger mascot and his crew), feels serious and packed with lore. You’ve got Michi Sugawara, “The Janitor”, who’s tasked alongside his sworn brother Tokihira to deliver cash to another Yakuza group to secure long-lasting peace among Japan’s criminal alliances.

But naturally, chaos reigns. Instead of offing Michi to cover her tracks, his boss, Matriarch Shimazu, ships him off in a box, banking on him to recover the losses through a covert family business — the now-defunct mascot agency in the rural town of Kaso-Machi, which Michi rebrands as Promise Mascot Agency with the somewhat psychotic Pinky.

So, your mission: manage this mascot agency by recruiting unique talents, networking with local businesses to find gigs, and ensuring jobs are completed. Align mascots with gigs that suit their traits — like sending a food-themed mascot to a restaurant event or a funeral urn mascot to a cemetery gig. But if money’s tight, as long as they’ve got stamina, you can send them anywhere.

Once jobs are underway, things can go awry, prompting alerts via the game’s seemingly complex but truly user-friendly job menu. You have some in-game hours to respond, where you’ll join an event’s livestream. You’ll get commentary from a mascot host who might remind you of a certain charismatic, albeit slightly vexing, comedian before you save the day with ‘mascot hero cards’ to tackle the obstacle. Ace the mission, and rake in the rewards. Fail, and you settle for the basics.

Building the agency isn’t just about taking jobs. As you navigate Kaso-Machi, you’ll unravel Michi and Pinky’s quest to uncover the town’s cursed past and its sinister leadership. You’ll encounter items and tasks to boost your agency, recruit townspeople for hero cards, and discover quirky mascots eager to join your roster.

Convincing these mascots to team up with you involves negotiation. Shelling out solid offers tends to work best — lowballing just won’t fly. Each mascot comes with stats like popularity, motivation, and stamina that evolve with each job, but starting off strong with attractive perks can make all the difference. And yes, pampering them with perks like holidays can actually pay off, enhancing their recovery and making them more effective.

The true draw, of course, lies in charming these mascots not just with stats and pay but through their vivid personalities. Each mascot embarks on a unique journey as your bond grows, sending you on quests to help them achieve life-enhancing goals that tie into the game’s underlying theme of fulfilling promises.

For instance, there’s Karoushi, a haunting figure wrought with the struggles of burnout. Its narrative echoes themes from a sophisticated Italian novel, blending grand metaphors with poignant social commentary, like aiding locals in forming a union.

And it’s not just the mascots; Kaso-Machi is a town layered with stories. Whether it’s tackling its comically corrupt leadership or uncovering intricate backstories, each interaction sizzles with creativity. As you spruce up the rundown locales for mascot events, you’ll not only fund your agency but also breathe life into this quirky town.

One small gripe: the map freely reveals where items and characters are, somewhat diminishing the thrill of surprise discovery. It’s handy but not as mysterious. And delivering mascot merchandise via the game’s claw machine mini-game, though thematically on point, felt a bit dull. Luckily, subcontracting mascots in other cities is a brisk process offering better returns for less hassle.

There’s a shift mid-game from hustle to surplus as you start stockpiling funds more than spending. This coincides with the narrative intensifying, allowing you to kick back from the grind just as the plot ratchets up.

In terms of story, where you land likely hinges on your appetite for quirky Yakuza tales peppered with absurdity. If you revel in eccentric humor sprinkled with genuine heart, PMA might become a cherished cult hit for you. If not, its quirky antics might just be amusing at best.

In all, Promise Mascot Agency is an enjoyable ride with enough charm to avoid becoming as bland as Michi’s ideal Saturday night, yet it might need some polish before contending with the big names in gaming’s hall of fame.

Mark your calendars—Promise Mascot Agency debuts on April 10 for PlayStation 5, Nintendo Switch, Microsoft Windows, Xbox Series X, and Series S. This review came to you courtesy of a PC code from the developers.